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'OT: Intro to Bovines 101'
1998\02\26@151022 by Don L. Jackson

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At 11:26 AM 02/26/1998 -0400, you wrote:
>Not even a vendor
>who understands your needs - their vendors have the same knowledge about
>software as I have about raising cows (the only thing I know about a cow is
>that they have four legs, say "booooooo...ooooooh", produce milk and meat,
>but that's all......).
>
>Albert Smulders
>InSAD - Encarnacion, Paraguay
>spam_OUTinsadTakeThisOuTspamitacom.com.py

As much as I tried to restrain myself, I just could not resist replying to
this!

Sorry, I cannot do anything about your vendor understanding software, but
here are a few additional pieces of information to add to your knowledge
about cows:

1. At least the cows I've heard in the northern hemisphere, they say
"moooooo...ooooooh" amongst other noises.
2. Yes, most of them have four legs.  They also come in a variety of
colors, mostly favoring shades of brown, black, and white.
3. The cow is the female of the bovine species.  The male is called a bull
originally when born (a "bullet"?), but most are "downgraded" to a steer
for better control and meat production.  Bulls/steers usually do not
produce milk.
4. They have multiple stomachs.  Their chewing is programmed into a loop --
between stomach and mouth cavity.  What they chew is often called a "cud".
5. Cows usually eat grass or similar things.  In the old days they did this
in fields called "pastures".  Now often they are kept in confined "feed lots".
6. Milk is stored in a cow's udder which usually has four (but sometimes
more) "spigots".  The process of getting the milk out of the cow is called
"milking", most often today done with a machine, but previously done by hand.
7. Most cows I have known were milked twice a day.  A person or farm dog
may go after them in the pasture to round them up and bring to a barn for
milking -- some herds (a group of cows) are smart enough to meander back
"home" around milking time.  That's where the expression about the "cows
coming home" comes from.
8. You can see a picture of two cows on the web page http://www.tucows.com
9. The newborn bovine is called a "calf" and several are called "calves" in
the English language.
10. Some cows have horns (not the musical or noisemaking type), others have
been de-horned.
11. Besides producing milk and meat, cows also produce fertilizer, often
called by various names such as "cow pies", "pasture patties", etc.
12. The meat of cows is generally called beef.  Veal is the name used for
calf meat.
13. I am not sure if cows ever sleep.  Even when driving in the middle of
the night, you can see them in pastures eating.  Maybe someone can help
here on this.
14. The cow is sacred in some countries.

...all this from a "city boy" who had a lot of relatives as cow farmers in
the state of Wisconsin, "America's Dairyland".  I could go on for a lot
more, but I'm sure that others can contribute greatly to your cow knowledge
base too (and correct any misinformation I gave)  ;-)

Gotta get mooooooooooving...

Don L. Jackson (now in Arizona, USA)

1998\02\26@155622 by Kerry B Phillips

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> At 11:26 AM 02/26/1998 -0400, you wrote:
> >Not even a vendor
> >who understands your needs - their vendors have the same knowledge about
> >software as I have about raising cows (the only thing I know about a cow is
> >that they have four legs, say "booooooo...ooooooh", produce milk and meat,
> >but that's all......).
> >

<snip>

> 13. I am not sure if cows ever sleep.  Even when driving in the middle of
> the night, you can see them in pastures eating.  Maybe someone can help
> here on this.

Yes, indeed, cows do sleep standing up.  It is this behavior that gave
rise to the activity "cow-tipping" in which youngsters tip over a sleeping
cow and run like crazy to get away before the cow wakes up mad! =)  It's
somewhat comparable in hilarity to Snipe-hunting.

--Kerry

1998\02\26@155625 by Andy Kunz

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>10. Some cows have horns (not the musical or noisemaking type), others have
>been de-horned.

Most "cows" (females) are antlerless, most bulls/steer are antlered.
Usually only the males are "de-horned" because of their aggressive tendencies.

>13. I am not sure if cows ever sleep.  Even when driving in the middle of
>the night, you can see them in pastures eating.  Maybe someone can help
>here on this.

They are also great for amusement, that is, "cow tipping."  If they are
sufficiently provoked, they _WILL_ charge (ask privately...)

Yes, they do sleep.  They are usually diurnal.  You have to tip them when
they sleep.

They are strong as blazes!  Got rope burns one time to prove it.

They are often quite intelligent (as evidenced by coming back to the barn
when the udder is painful).  I have on occasion driven one back into
pasture after she got onto the road.  All it takes is a switch and some
patience.

Cows know their names, and respond to familiar persons.  While not usually
hostile to strangers, they are not as easy to get to do what you want.

I much prefer them to horses.

>...all this from a "city boy" who had a lot of relatives as cow farmers in

I grew up in farm country.  Wore "shit-kickers" to school, threw warm
manure into my friends' hair (it's great - snowball fights all year long<G>)!

Andy

==================================================================
                    Andy Kunz - Montana Design
         Go fast, turn right, and keep the wet side down!
==================================================================

1998\02\26@161550 by Sean Breheny

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At 03:42 PM 2/26/98 -0500, you wrote:
>>10. Some cows have horns (not the musical or noisemaking type), others have
>>been de-horned.
>
>Most "cows" (females) are antlerless, most bulls/steer are antlered.
>Usually only the males are "de-horned" because of their aggressive
tendencies.
{Quote hidden}

Hahahahahaha, this _definately_ takes the cake for the most OT thread yet
on the piclist.

Sean

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| Sean Breheny                   |
| Amateur Radio Callsign: KA3YXM |
| Electrical Engineering Student |
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1998\02\26@174111 by John Shreffler

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Not too off topic.  If you convert "COW" into the binary
equivalent, shift left one bit and invert, and then decode, you get "PIC"

{Original Message removed}

1998\02\26@174115 by Andy Kunz

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>somewhat comparable in hilarity to Snipe-hunting.

No, no, Snipe-hunting is more fun.  Good thing snipe season is when it's
plenty warm enough...

Andy


==================================================================
                    Andy Kunz - Montana Design
         Go fast, turn right, and keep the wet side down!
==================================================================

1998\02\26@174436 by Alberto Smulders

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Thanks a lot !!!!!  With all the new knowledge I got today, I think I'm
going to change my PIC-stuff and my computer for a couple of cows (better, a
cow and a bull, so I have some hope for "automatic" future expansion - maybe
even I can put a PIC in a future automatic milk-machine)......

Perhaps there's somebody on the list who wants to exchange electronic stuff
and a computer for said animals, please drop me an e-mail.....

Regards,

Albert Smulders
InSAD (will be very soon: Establecimiento Ganadero PIC)
Encarnaci—n, Paraguay
insadspamKILLspamitacom.com.py (will be: .....muuuhKILLspamspam.....itacom.com.py)

1998\02\26@191734 by Steve Baldwin

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> Not too off topic.  If you convert "COW" into the binary
> equivalent, shift left one bit and invert, and then decode, you get "PIC"

Some people have far too much time on their hands.

Steve.

======================================================
 Very funny Scotty.  Now beam down my clothes.
======================================================
Steve Baldwin                Electronic Product Design
TLA Microsystems Ltd         Microcontroller Specialists
PO Box 15-680                email: EraseMEstevebspam_OUTspamTakeThisOuTkcbbs.gen.nz
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======================================================

1998\02\26@192742 by EMIS

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What the hell is this all about??????

AJH

-----Original Message-----
From: Don L. Jackson <bovinespamspam_OUTAZARK.COM>
To: @spam@PICLISTKILLspamspamMITVMA.MIT.EDU <KILLspamPICLISTKILLspamspamMITVMA.MIT.EDU>
Date: Thursday, February 26, 1998 08:16
Subject: OT: Intro to Bovines 101


>At 11:26 AM 02/26/1998 -0400, you wrote:
>>Not even a vendor
>>who understands your needs - their vendors have the same knowledge about
>>software as I have about raising cows (the only thing I know about a cow
is
{Quote hidden}

lots".
>6. Milk is stored in a cow's udder which usually has four (but sometimes
>more) "spigots".  The process of getting the milk out of the cow is called
>"milking", most often today done with a machine, but previously done by
hand.
{Quote hidden}

1998\02\26@193829 by Wynn Rostek

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At 02:32 PM 2/26/98 CST, you wrote:

>Yes, indeed, cows do sleep standing up.  It is this behavior that gave
>rise to the activity "cow-tipping" in which youngsters tip over a sleeping
>cow and run like crazy to get away before the cow wakes up mad! =)  It's
>somewhat comparable in hilarity to Snipe-hunting.

Except that you have missed the whole point of cow tipping.  You only go
cow tipping in the dead of winter, so the ground is throughly frozen, and
only when you are dead drunk.  You take a running start, (Really quite a
challange when the ground is icy and you're very drunk.) and slide into the
sleeping cow.  Now the average cow is going to out weigh the average cow
tipper better than 10 to 1, so mostly you bounce off the cow and roll
around on the ground, trying to get back onto your feet on the ice when
you're very drunk.  It's not easy.  Every once in a while, you will
actually move the cow a little, and since the cow was asleep, the cow
startles, loses it's footing, and falls down.  Then your friends get to
watch you and a half a ton of angry, confused cow roll around on the same
piece of icy ground.

There really are snipe.  They are an upland game bird with long thin bills.
There is an offical snipe season here in florida.  They tend to hang out
in marshes and when you flush them they fly low and erratic.  Excellent way
to waste a lot of shells.

1998\02\27@002654 by tjaart

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part 0 1131 bytes content-type:text/plainAlberto Smulders wrote:

> Thanks a lot !!!!!  With all the new knowledge I got today, I think I'm
> going to change my PIC-stuff and my computer for a couple of cows (better, a
> cow and a bull, so I have some hope for "automatic" future expansion - maybe
> even I can put a PIC in a future automatic milk-machine)......
>
> Perhaps there's somebody on the list who wants to exchange electronic stuff
> and a computer for said animals, please drop me an e-mail.....

Still better, I e-mailed you a cow (see attachement). I really don't want
anything in return...

--
Friendly Regards

Tjaart van der Walt
spamBeGonetjaartspamBeGonespamwasp.co.za
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COW

1998\02\27@095404 by Roger Books

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> >10. Some cows have horns (not the musical or noisemaking type), others
> >have been de-horned.
>
> Most "cows" (females) are antlerless, most bulls/steer are antlered.
> Usually only the males are "de-horned" because of their aggressive
> tendencies.
>

I actually caught Andy in a mistake, never thought that would happen.
Wether a cow (or bull) grows antlers is breed dependant.  If the breed
does not grow horns they are called "Polled".  I'm not sure why taking
a poll removes your horns, but I am avoiding telephone polls because I'm
not sure what else is removed.

Roger

(Grew up on a beef farm, we raised Polled Herefords.  Occasionally I
helped the neighbors with their dairy cows.  I have the (dubious) brag
of saying I reached into a cow up to my shoulders in order to turn a
calf.)

1998\02\27@103337 by Tom Handley

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  Andy (heh, heh, boy does this take me back ;-)

  If anyone is considering Snipe-hunting in Oregon, note that you need
a separate license and a tag which is good for three hundred Snipes. Be
sure to attach the tag to each snipe as the ODFW (Oregon Department of
Fish and Wildlife) needs this information in order to adjust yearly
seasons in an effort to preserve Snipe populations. The current 1998
regulations allow open-season Snipe hunting in the Willamette, Clackamas,
and Washington counties due to over-population. This is "hunter's choice"
so you can go for the females as well as the males. Coastal Snipe hunting
is prohibbited north of Lincoln county. A limited number of permits will
be issued for the Alsea and Klamath units. The high deserts of Eastern
Oregon are limited to bow hunting, sling-shots, and Barry Manilow music.
The notable exception is Umatilla county. Apparently an excess of Tequila
at the last Pendleton Round-Up dramatically reduced local populations.
For more information including maps, lodging, camp sites, etc, contact
the Oregon Department of Natural Redundancy or your local Natural Guard.

  - Tom   ;-)

At 04:34 PM 2/26/98 -0500, you wrote:
{Quote hidden}

1998\02\27@123457 by Carey Pembroke

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Roger Books wrote:

[SNIP]

> (Grew up on a beef farm, we raised Polled Herefords.  Occasionally I
>  helped the neighbors with their dairy cows.  I have the (dubious) brag
>  of saying I reached into a cow up to my shoulders in order to turn a
>  calf.)

If only we could have avoided starting this topic!

But since we didn't, I can't resist telling a story about the "vet" in the
extremely rural area where I grew up.  He tells about being in the middle of
performing an insemination when the barn he was in got struck by lightning.
He had his arm in there up to the shoulder, and the cow was so startled by
the noise that she clamped down and broke his arm in three places.

Just thought y'all would like to know about that...

Have fun!
Carey

(Who is wondering how he ended an engineer up in Silicon Valley after such a
childhood...)

--
 ####   The Governess up in the attic
#    #   Attempts to make a cup of tea;
#       Her mind grows daily more erratic
#  ###   From cold and hunger and ennui.
#    #
 ####                    -Edward Gorey-

1998\02\27@130232 by Christopher E. Brown

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On Fri, 27 Feb 1998, Roger Books wrote:

> I actually caught Andy in a mistake, never thought that would happen.
> Wether a cow (or bull) grows antlers is breed dependant.  If the breed
> does not grow horns they are called "Polled".  I'm not sure why taking
> a poll removes your horns, but I am avoiding telephone polls because I'm
> not sure what else is removed.

       I am not much on cows, but unless somthing changed while I was not
looking an antler is *alot* different than a horn.  Whether a cow/bull has
'horns' may be breed dependant, but if it has antlers I think it is more a
species issue.  Unless that is Santa rides around with a bunch of flying
cows. :)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Christopher E. Brown (CB421)    <TakeThisOuTcbrownEraseMEspamspam_OUTalaska.net>        +(907) 357-5680

First Law of System Requirements:
       "Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about..."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

1998\02\27@134550 by John Shreffler

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Gotta go with Brown on this one

On Fri, 27 Feb 1998, Roger Books wrote:

> I actually caught Andy in a mistake, never thought that would happen.
> Wether a cow (or bull) grows antlers is breed dependant.  If the breed
> does not grow horns they are called "Polled".  I'm not sure why taking
> a poll removes your horns, but I am avoiding telephone polls because I'm
> not sure what else is removed.

       I am not much on cows, but unless somthing changed while I was not
looking an antler is *alot* different than a horn.  Whether a cow/bull has
'horns' may be breed dependant, but if it has antlers I think it is more a
species issue.  Unless that is Santa rides around with a bunch of flying
cows. :)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Christopher E. Brown (CB421)    <RemoveMEcbrownspamTakeThisOuTalaska.net>        +(907) 357-5680

First Law of System Requirements:
       "Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about..."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Attachment converted: wonderland:WINMAIL.DAT 6 (????/----) (000137F1)

1998\02\27@190632 by Andy Kunz

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>        I am not much on cows, but unless somthing changed while I was not
>looking an antler is *alot* different than a horn.  Whether a cow/bull has
>'horns' may be breed dependant, but if it has antlers I think it is more a
>species issue.  Unless that is Santa rides around with a bunch of flying
>cows. :)

Well, since you bring Santa Claus into it...

Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation
Administration, and the FAA examiner arrived last week for the
pre-Christmas flight check.

In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the
reindeer.  Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his paperwork was in
order.  He knew they would examine all his equipment and truly put Santa's
flying skills to the test...

The examiner walked slowly around the sled.  He checked the reindeer
harnesses, the landing gear, and Rudolf's nose.  He painstakingly reviewed
Santa's weight and balance calculations for sled's enormous payload.

Finally, they were ready for the checkride.  Santa got in and fastened his
seatbelt and shoulder harness and checked the compass. Then the examiner
hopped in carrying, to Santa's surprise, a shotgun.

"What's that for?!?" asked Santa incredulously.

The examiner winked and said, "I'm not supposed to tell you this ahead of
time," as he leaned over to whisper in Santa's ear, "but you're gonna lose
an engine on takeoff."

Andy

==================================================================
                    Andy Kunz - Montana Design
         Go fast, turn right, and keep the wet side down!
==================================================================

1998\02\27@212103 by mcoop

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>        I am not much on cows, but unless somthing changed while I was not
>looking an antler is *alot* different than a horn.  Whether a cow/bull has
>'horns' may be breed dependant, but if it has antlers I think it is more a
>species issue.  Unless that is Santa rides around with a bunch of flying
>cows. :)

I suppose those would be 'air horns' ?

1998\02\28@010539 by Eric Smith

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John Shreffler <johnsEraseMEspam.....AVENUETECH.COM> wrote:
> Not too off topic.  If you convert "COW" into the binary
> equivalent, shift left one bit and invert, and then decode, you get "PIC"

I get "yuQ".  Are you using some character set other than ASCII?

1998\02\28@164400 by Morgan Olsson

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At 06:00 1998-02-28 -0000, Eric Smith wrote:
>John Shreffler <EraseMEjohnsspamAVENUETECH.COM> wrote:
>> Not too off topic.  If you convert "COW" into the binary
>> equivalent, shift left one bit and invert, and then decode, you get "PIC"
>
>I get "yuQ".  Are you using some character set other than ASCII?
>
Well, in this case the idea is important, not the result ;]
/Morgan
/  Morgan Olsson, MORGANS REGLERTEKNIK, SE-277 35 KIVIK, Sweden \
\  RemoveMEmrtEraseMEspamEraseMEiname.com, ph: +46 (0)414 70741; fax +46 (0)414 70331    /


'OT: Intro to Bovines 101'
1998\03\01@093732 by Andy Kunz
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You know, the Outcomes Based Ed version.  It isn't that you came up with a
different answer than the teacher, it's how you FEEL about it that's
important.

YUCK!

At 10:33 PM 2/28/98 +0100, you wrote:
>At 06:00 1998-02-28 -0000, Eric Smith wrote:
>>John Shreffler <RemoveMEjohnsspam_OUTspamKILLspamAVENUETECH.COM> wrote:
>>> Not too off topic.  If you convert "COW" into the binary
>>> equivalent, shift left one bit and invert, and then decode, you get "PIC"
>>
>>I get "yuQ".  Are you using some character set other than ASCII?
>>
>Well, in this case the idea is important, not the result ;]


==================================================================
Andy Kunz - Montana Design - 409 S 6th St - Phillipsburg, NJ 08865
         Hardware & Software for Industry & R/C Hobbies
       "Go fast, turn right, and keep the wet side down!"
==================================================================

1998\03\02@014312 by John Payson

picon face
> ...all this from a "city boy" who had a lot of relatives as cow farmers in
> the state of Wisconsin, "America's Dairyland".  I could go on for a lot
> more, but I'm sure that others can contribute greatly to your cow knowledge
> base too (and correct any misinformation I gave)  ;-)

I (a small-town "boy") was somewhat amused today to observe that the people
at the local Oberveiss Dairy store put up a sign indicating "Our milk comes
from happy hormone-free heifers".

[1] How happy would any sort of animal be if all its hormones were removed?
   I can see the animal being free of any artificially-added hormones, but
   free of hormones entirely?

[2] How much milk are heifers likely to give, anyway?  I thought milking
   was rather strongly related to calving.

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