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'[OT] Just awful'
2006\09\15@231056 by Jinx

face picon face
1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

2. A will is a dead giveaway.

3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your
Count that votes.

6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat
miner.

10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

12. A grenade falling onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in
Linoleum Blownapart.

13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

14. Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.

15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

16. A calendar's days are numbered.

17. A lot of money is tainted: `Taint yours, and `taint mine.

18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at
large.

22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.

29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.

Note: No trees were killed in the sending of this message, but a large
number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced

2006\09\16@005037 by Marcel Duchamp

picon face
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI

Jinx wrote:
> 1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
>

2006\09\16@111147 by Russell McMahon

face
flavicon
face
Show me a man who laughs at defeat and I'll show you a Chiropodist
with a sense of humour.

Then, there's the "rule" 'jokes' - KO?

   R

> ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI
>
> Jinx wrote:
>> 1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

2006\09\17@120914 by James Newtons Massmind

face picon face
How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path

How do you get holy water?
Boil the hell out of it

What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho Cheese

What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
Quatro sinko

What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck

What's the difference between roast beef and peasoup?
Anyone can roast beef

Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him
 
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers
 
Why don't blind people like to sky dive?
Because it scares the hell out of the dog

What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
Sanka

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The location of the dirt bag

Why does a pilgrim's pants always fall down?
Because they wear their belt buckle on their hat

What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer goes, WHACK! "Damn."
A bad skydiver goes, "Damn." WHACK!

What do you call a man with a car on his head?
Jack

How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it!

How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way, unique up on it!

What do you call skydiving lawyers?
Skeet

What goes clop, clop, clop, bang, bang, clop, clop clop?
An Amish drive-by shooting


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