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'[OT] Crazy patents'
2006\10\24@192050 by Jinx

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Not an exhaustive list by any means

Roll your eyes, shrug your shoulders, frown in disbelief

http://www.freepatentsonline.com/crazy.html

Was Googling for a mortar spreader. Have a brick wall to make
(finally getting started on the outdoor pond/aquarium) and wondered
if anyone had thought of a device to lay mortar. They have

http://www.freepatentsonline.com/5035352.pdf

2006\10\24@195318 by Peter P.

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Jinx <joecolquitt <at> clear.net.nz> writes:

> http://www.freepatentsonline.com/crazy.html
>
> http://www.freepatentsonline.com/5035352.pdf

Try this: http://www.halfbakery.com

Peter P.




2006\10\24@201327 by Jinx

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> http://www.halfbakery.com

Thanks, I've dipped into that in the past for a laugh

2006\10\24@210712 by Howard Winter

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Jinx,

On Wed, 25 Oct 2006 12:20:32 +1300, Jinx wrote:

>...
> Was Googling for a mortar spreader.

You mean a trowel?  :-)

> Have a brick wall to make
> (finally getting started on the outdoor pond/aquarium) and wondered
> if anyone had thought of a device to lay mortar. They have
>
> http://www.freepatentsonline.com/5035352.pdf

I can't read this for some reason, so I may be talking about whatever that says, but there's a thing called a "Bricky", invented by an Irish bricklayer,
which is a plastic frame that you lay on top of one course of bricks, fill it with mortar and shave the excess off the top, and it gives just the right
depth to lay the next course onto.  It also comes with a small version of itself for buttering the ends of the bricks accurately.  For someone who is
not a trained bricklayer, it will probably make a better job than they can without it!

In fact people are selling them on eBay - search for "Bricky" and you'll see what I was trying to describe.

Cheers,




Howard Winter
St.Albans, England


2006\10\24@221806 by James Newton, Host

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Excerpt from my favorite:

"To operate the assembly, the operator places the inlet tube with its valve
open adjacent his anal region from which a colonic gas is discharged. "
http://www.freepatentsonline.com/6055910.html

How much you want to bet that if someone actually made this, it would be a
hit with the college party crowd?

---
James.



> {Original Message removed}

2006\10\24@230832 by Jinx

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> > http://www.freepatentsonline.com/5035352.pdf
>
> I can't read this for some reason, so I may be talking about whatever
> that says, but there's a thing called a "Bricky", invented by an Irish
> bricklayer, which is a plastic frame that you lay on top of one course
> of bricks

The above pdf describes something a little more complicated. The
hopper has an Archimedes feed-screw that lays a bead of mortar
as you move the whole apparatus along the course

Favourite brickie joke (as told by Billy Connolly)

The Queen had been visiting an asylum, and on her way out she spots
a man building a brick wall in the garden. She wanders over to talk to
him

After a brief exchange of pleasantries, which The Queen savours with
this ruddy-faced, well-spoken man....

"That's an excellent wall you're building. It's perfectly straight and
level,
all the bricks are matched, I can't fault the mortar work you've done
either. You're very skilled. I'm sure you get a lot of work around town"

"Oh, no, not me. I'm one of the patients, I'm not allowed out. I've
been in this place for years. I try to convince them I'm not as ill as
they say I am but they won't listen. It's quite depressing really, to
know that I'm stuck in here. They give me drugs too, and I don't
like that at all"

"Surely not", says The Queen, surprised at this revelation from a
person wih whom she has had quite an enjoyable chat. "I shall speak
to someone and see if something can be done to get you out, perhaps
working in the community. You could be such a valuable part of society"

"Oh, thank you ma'am, thank you so much. I've been waiting for
someone to speak up for me. Thank you ma'am"

And with that they say their goodbyes and best wishes

"That poor man, that's a shocking state of affairs, keeping such a
talented man locked up", says The Queen to an aide as they
approach her car

Suddenly half a brick hits her on the back of the head. Down she
goes. And a voice calls out "You won't forget will you ?"

2006\10\24@232149 by Jinx

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> "To operate the assembly, the operator places the inlet tube with its
> valve open adjacent his anal region from which a colonic gas is
> discharged. "
> http://www.freepatentsonline.com/6055910.html

And if you haven't got one brewing, you can use the lighter gas

2006\10\24@232338 by Mark Jordan

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       http://home.hawaii.rr.com/thildebrand/FlatulentTech/gcc.html


On 24 Oct 2006 at 19:17, James Newton, Host wrote:

{Quote hidden}

> > {Original Message removed}

2006\10\25@093326 by Howard Winter

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Jinx,

On Wed, 25 Oct 2006 16:08:18 +1300, Jinx wrote:

>...
> Suddenly half a brick hits her on the back of the head. Down she
> goes. And a voice calls out "You won't forget will you ?"

ROFL!  I'd forgotten this one - my father told me it when I was about 12  :-)

Cheers,


Howard Winter
St.Albans, England


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