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'[OT]: Flying Quantas'
2002\02\13@125800 by Lawrence Lile

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Subject: Fw: Flying Quantas

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.


Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems, as
submitted by QUANTAS pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance
engineers. By the way,Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an
accident.


P = The problem logged by the pilot.
S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.
******************************************************************


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.


P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.


P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack normal
seepage.


P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.


P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.


P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.


P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.


P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.


P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for!


P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.


P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
S: Suspect you're right.


P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.


P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.


P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with words.


P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

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2002\02\13@132439 by Spehro Pefhany

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At 11:55 AM 2/13/02 -0600, you wrote:
>By the way,Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an
>accident.


Not a *fatal* accident. They wrote off two aircraft due to accidents
before 1961, and there was this incident in 1999 at Bangkok's
airport (a Boeing 747-438 with 410 people aboard):

>The aircraft overran the 100 m stopway (at the end of the runway) at
>a speed of 88 kts, before stopping 220 m later with the nose resting
>on an airport perimeter road.
..
>deficiencies in Qantas's operational procedures, training and
>management processes were found.

Best regards,

Spehro Pefhany --"it's the network..."            "The Journey is the reward"
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2002\02\13@163114 by Tony Nixon

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Lawrence Lile wrote:
>
> Subject: Fw: Flying Quantas

QANTAS

Queensland and Northern Territory Aerial Services Ltd.


:-)

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Tony

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2002\02\14@005036 by Matt Pobursky

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On Wed, 13 Feb 2002 11:55:34 -0600, Lawrence Lile wrote:
>Subject: Fw: Flying Quantas
>
>Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a
>sense of humor.
>

Nor passengers... your post made me remember this funny graphic a
flight attendant friend from Sydney sent me.

http://www.webtoo.net/images/qantas.jpg

Matt Pobursky
Maximum Performance Systems

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2002\02\14@124051 by Peter L. Peres

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>Subject: Fw: Flying Quantas
>
>Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of
>humor.
>
>Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems, as
>submitted by QUANTAS pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance
>engineers. By the way,Qantas is the only major airline that has never
>had an accident.

These jokes are funny but they were almost certainly pasted from someplace
unrelated to Quantas, which is a civilian airline. At least two of the
problems shown could not have happened on an airliner ...

Peter

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2002\02\14@132430 by goflo

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Peter L. Peres wrote:

> These jokes are funny but they were almost certainly pasted from someplace
> unrelated to Quantas, which is a civilian airline. At least two of the
> problems shown could not have happened on an airliner ...

This stuff was making the rounds in the military
long before the internet. Funny then, too.

regards, Jack

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2002\02\14@141133 by Nick Taylor

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Lawrence Lile wrote:
>
> Subject: Fw: Flying Quantas
>
> Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.
>
> Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems, as
> submitted by QUANTAS pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance
> engineers. By the way,Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an
> accident.

In six days it will be the fifty year anniversary of my entering
the US Air Force ... and all of these "Form 1 entries" were old
even then.

  -Nick T.

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2002\02\14@143234 by Spehro Pefhany

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At 11:08 AM 2/14/02 -0800, you wrote:


>In six days it will be the fifty year anniversary of my entering
>the US Air Force ... and all of these "Form 1 entries" were old
>even then.

Were you ever sent for a pail of prop wash?   ;-)

Best regards,

Spehro Pefhany --"it's the network..."            "The Journey is the reward"
@spam@speffKILLspamspaminterlog.com             Info for manufacturers: http://www.trexon.com
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2002\02\14@151817 by Nick Taylor

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Spehro Pefhany wrote:
>
> At 11:08 AM 2/14/02 -0800, you wrote:
>
> >In six days it will be the fifty year anniversary of my entering
> >the US Air Force ... and all of these "Form 1 entries" were old
> >even then.
>
> Were you ever sent for a pail of prop wash?   ;-)
>
Nope, I was too smart for that!  I went searching for ten feet of
flight line.

 -Nick T.

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2002\02\14@152825 by Dipperstein, Michael

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> From: Spehro Pefhany [spamBeGonespeffspamBeGonespamINTERLOG.COM]
>
> Were you ever sent for a pail of prop wash?   ;-)

You kept your prop wash in a pail?  At the Navy base I used to work at, they had
a spray bottle that always seemed to be empty and required the new guy to fill
it.  Somebody even went as far as putting a hazard gram label on the bottle.

-Mike

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2002\02\14@164825 by Tony Nixon

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Spehro Pefhany wrote:

> Were you ever sent for a pail of prop wash?   ;-)

It's next to the left handed spanner.


On the subject of planes, I just got my pilots license.

I'll have to think up some nifty PIC projects to adorn the instrument
panel of an ultralight I am planning on buying.

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2002\02\14@171806 by Spehro Pefhany

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At 08:45 AM 2/15/02 +1100, you wrote:

>I'll have to think up some nifty PIC projects to adorn the instrument
>panel of an ultralight I am planning on buying.

Cylinder head temperature scanner might be a good one.

Best regards,

Spehro Pefhany --"it's the network..."            "The Journey is the reward"
EraseMEspeffspaminterlog.com             Info for manufacturers: http://www.trexon.com
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2002\02\14@172847 by Douglas Butler

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How about tying a PIC to a piece of string and hanging it in front of
you.  A combination air speed & direction indicator and artificial
horizon.

You will have to add a battery and an LED to use it at night.

Sherpa Doug

> On the subject of planes, I just got my pilots license.
>
> I'll have to think up some nifty PIC projects to adorn the instrument
> panel of an ultralight I am planning on buying.

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2002\02\14@174111 by Martin Peach

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----- Original Message -----
From: "Tony Nixon" <RemoveMETony.NixonTakeThisOuTspamspamENG.MONASH.EDU.AU>
To: <EraseMEPICLISTspamspamspamBeGoneMITVMA.MIT.EDU>
Sent: Thursday, February 14, 2002 4:45 PM
Subject: Re: [OT]: Flying Quantas


{Quote hidden}

How about an autopilot?

/\/\/\/*=Martin

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2002\02\14@174152 by michael brown

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> How about tying a PIC to a piece of string and hanging it in front of
> you.  A combination air speed & direction indicator and artificial
> horizon.
>
> You will have to add a battery and an LED to use it at night.
>
> Sherpa Doug

LOL ;-D I'm glad some people here still have a sense of humor.  I was
thinking he could build a bob blick type clock into the propeller.  He could
display some other usefull information besides the current time.

BTW, does anyone know if .9999999(repeating) is exactly = 1?

michael brown

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2002\02\14@174200 by Tony Nixon

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Douglas Butler wrote:
>
> How about tying a PIC to a piece of string and hanging it in front of
> you.  A combination air speed & direction indicator and artificial
> horizon.

Probably do the same by closing one eye and holding my thumb out in
front.

> You will have to add a battery and an LED to use it at night.

May need to wet the thumb :-)

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2002\02\14@175743 by Martin Peach

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----- Original Message -----
From: "michael brown" <EraseMEn5qmgspamEraseMEAMSAT.ORG>
To: <@spam@PICLIST@spam@spamspam_OUTMITVMA.MIT.EDU>
Sent: Thursday, February 14, 2002 5:34 PM
Subject: Re: [OT]: Flying Quantas

...


> BTW, does anyone know if .9999999(repeating) is exactly = 1?

No, it's just infinitesimally off to one side.

/\/\/\/*=Martin

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2002\02\14@180628 by Jinx

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> > BTW, does anyone know if .9999999(repeating) is
> > exactly = 1?
>
> No, it's just infinitesimally off to one side.

Do you recall the "0.99999999r" vs "1" war of ought-one ?
Friend against friend, brother against brother, tore families
apart

Take a look in the archives (6 months ago ?) for some heated
discussion

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2002\02\14@182117 by Barry Michels

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                               _
If it is, does that mean that 0.01 is exactly = 0?
(must view in mono-space to see correctly)

> BTW, does anyone know if .9999999(repeating) is exactly = 1?
>
> michael brown

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2002\02\14@184632 by michael brown

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Jinx worries:
>
> Do you recall the "0.99999999r" vs "1" war of ought-one ?
> Friend against friend, brother against brother, tore families
> apart
>
> Take a look in the archives (6 months ago ?) for some heated
> discussion

Before this does get out of control, I was just kidding, since we ALL know
the right answer.  ;-) I hadn't been on the list for months and just wanted
to see if everyone was still alert.  ;-)  Yes, that little tizzy sure did
fire some people up.  It was worse (better?) than a Linux vs. windoze
debate.

michael brown

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2002\02\14@185254 by Dale Botkin

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We used to send 'em after a gallon of yellow/black striped paint.  Army,
y'see.  Of course in the data center we'd hand 'em a box of blank
80-column cards and tell 'em we were running low on greenbar, so dupe the
cards to print...  <sigh>

Dale
--
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curiosity killed the cat, I say only the cat died nobly."
         - Arnold Edinborough


On Thu, 14 Feb 2002, Nick Taylor wrote:

{Quote hidden}

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2002\02\14@190121 by Dale Botkin

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On Thu, 14 Feb 2002, michael brown wrote:

> BTW, does anyone know if .9999999(repeating) is exactly = 1?

Of course you do realize we're going to have to shoot you now...

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2002\02\14@192439 by goflo

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michael brown wrote:

> BTW, does anyone know if .9999999(repeating) is exactly = 1?

Where's a lynch mob when ya need one?

just kidding, more or less...

Jack

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2002\02\14@205701 by Nick Taylor

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michael brown wrote:
>
[snip]
> BTW, does anyone know if .9999999(repeating) is exactly = 1?

.9999999(repeating) is still exactly equal to 1

 -Nick T.

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2002\02\15@044337 by Alan B. Pearce

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>I'll have to think up some nifty PIC projects to adorn the instrument
>panel of an ultralight I am planning on buying.

Use one of those pressure sensors for an altitude indicator?

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2002\02\15@153025 by M. Adam Davis

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This, of course, depends completely on your definition of 'exactly'
and/or 'equal'.

-Adam

Nick Taylor wrote:

{Quote hidden}

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2002\02\15@162146 by Nick Taylor

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This topic was beaten to death back in early June 2001.  Check the
archives for some interesting (and thoughtful) perspectives.
 -Nick T.

"M. Adam Davis" wrote:
>
> This, of course, depends completely on your definition of 'exactly'
> and/or 'equal'.

Sort of like Bill Clinton's definition of "is."
{Quote hidden}

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2002\02\15@162811 by uter van ooijen & floortje hanneman

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> BTW, does anyone know if .9999999(repeating) is exactly = 1?

Hey, do I see a piclist-time-travel mechanism.in action?

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2002\02\15@163356 by 4HAZ

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Fact: 1 / 0 = infinity

so what is 2 / 0 ???

KF4HAZ - Lonnie

"Nick Taylor"  wrote:
{Quote hidden}

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2002\02\15@165437 by Martin Baker

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AS a philosopher/phenomenologist, I feel obligated to point out that 1 is
not even equal to 1, contextually. An ordinal one signifies differently
than a cardinal or tag one... and welcome to number theory heck.

At 05:59 PM 2/15/02 +0100, you wrote:
> > BTW, does anyone know if .9999999(repeating) is exactly = 1?
>
>Hey, do I see a piclist-time-travel mechanism.in action?
>
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2002\02\15@173038 by Jinx

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> > BTW, does anyone know if .9999999(repeating) is exactly = 1?
>
> Of course you do realize we're going to have to shoot you now...

After you groan at some of these maths jokes, you might
just feel like shooting yourself

http://math.ucsd.edu/~mathclub/games/jokes.html

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2002\02\15@185531 by miked

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I think on of the winners of Dontronics Simmstick contest was a instumentation
package for an ultralight. Used an AVR though.
>
> On the subject of planes, I just got my pilots license.
>
> I'll have to think up some nifty PIC projects to adorn the instrument
> panel of an ultralight I am planning on buying.
>
> --
> Best regards
>
> Tony

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2002\02\16@035626 by Peter L. Peres

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> Fact: 1 / 0 = infinity
>
> so what is 2 / 0 ???
>
> KF4HAZ - Lonnie

2 * infinity obviously ;-)
               _            _
By the way if 0.9 = 1 then 1.01 = 1 no ?

Peter

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2002\02\16@074139 by Jinx

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www.clear.net.nz/news/archives/articles/00017782.html

Nearly spoiled their good name in the worst possible way

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2002\02\16@103512 by Vit

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> http://www.clear.net.nz/news/archives/articles/00017782.html
>
> Nearly spoiled their good name in the worst possible way

Ouch.  I wonder if the collision avoidance systems are automatic..  What
were the traffic controllers thinking?

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2002\02\16@103523 by Kathy Quinlan

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----- Original Message -----
From: "Jinx" <.....joecolquittSTOPspamspam@spam@CLEAR.NET.NZ>
Subject: Re: [OT]: Flying Quantas


> http://www.clear.net.nz/news/archives/articles/00017782.html
>
> Nearly spoiled their good name in the worst possible way
>

Was this QANTAS' problem or was it the air traffic controllers problem ???

I thought it was the air traffic controllers job to make sure planes did not
crash

Regards,

Kat.
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2002\02\16@104957 by Chris Loiacono

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Wow- that could have wiped out 1/2 of their fleet!

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> http://www.clear.net.nz/news/archives/articles/00017782.html
>
> Nearly spoiled their good name in the worst possible way
>

Was this QANTAS' problem or was it the air traffic controllers problem ???

I thought it was the air traffic controllers job to make sure planes did not
crash

Regards,

Kat.

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2002\02\16@120216 by John Ferrell

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Final responsibility always rests with the pilot. The only possible
exception would be under zero visibility conditions and that would not be a
sure thing.

A question not likely to be answered: Was anyone on either aircraft looking
out?

Another factor: It is recommended that aircraft on headings of 0-180 degrees
fly odd increments (or was it even?) of 1000 ft, headings of 180 to 360 even
increments of 1000 ft.

Which leads me to wonder if metric measurement is required for international
flight?
Instrument manufacturers take note, this may be a business opportunity...

Another consideration is whether they were in "controlled airspace. " Air
Traffic Control provides only "courtesy assistance" outside controlled
airspace.  I believe the aviation writer Richard Bach described ATC's
position in this role as "dealing, but not playing."

John Ferrell
6241 Phillippi Rd
Julian NC 27283
Phone: (336)685-9606
Dixie Competition Products
NSRCA 479 AMA 4190  W8CCW
"My Competition is Not My Enemy"



{Original Message removed}

2002\02\16@124345 by Jafta

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In Airliners the are almost always controlled - fly above FL195 is
IFR, and conrolled.

----- Original Message -----
From: "John Ferrell" <johnferrellEraseMEspam@spam@SPRINTMAIL.COM>
To: <RemoveMEPICLISTspamspamBeGoneMITVMA.MIT.EDU>
Sent: Saturday, 16 February, 2002 18:57 PM
Subject: Re: [OT]: Flying Quantas


Final responsibility always rests with the pilot. The only possible
exception would be under zero visibility conditions and that would not
be a
sure thing.

A question not likely to be answered: Was anyone on either aircraft
looking
out?

Another factor: It is recommended that aircraft on headings of 0-180
degrees
fly odd increments (or was it even?) of 1000 ft, headings of 180 to
360 even
increments of 1000 ft.

Which leads me to wonder if metric measurement is required for
international
flight?
Instrument manufacturers take note, this may be a business
opportunity...

Another consideration is whether they were in "controlled airspace. "
Air
Traffic Control provides only "courtesy assistance" outside controlled
airspace.  I believe the aviation writer Richard Bach described ATC's
position in this role as "dealing, but not playing."

John Ferrell
6241 Phillippi Rd
Julian NC 27283
Phone: (336)685-9606
Dixie Competition Products
NSRCA 479 AMA 4190  W8CCW
"My Competition is Not My Enemy"



----- Original Message -----
From: "Kathy Quinlan" <spamBeGonekatinkaKILLspamspam@spam@MAGESTOWER.COM>
To: <PICLISTspam_OUTspam@spam@MITVMA.MIT.EDU>
Sent: Saturday, February 16, 2002 10:40 AM
Subject: Re: [OT]: Flying Quantas


{Quote hidden}

problem ???
>
> I thought it was the air traffic controllers job to make sure planes
did
not
> crash
>
> Regards,
>
> Kat.
>
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2002\02\16@124402 by Stuart Meier

flavicon
picon face
> Which leads me to wonder if metric measurement is required for
international
> flight?

Metric v Imperial always a problem, and not just in heights. When you
load your jumbo with x000 litres of fuel instead of x000 gals, the pilot
gets to fly a very very very large glider ....happened recently to one
landed safely in ?was it Tenerife after gliding down from 40,000ft, I
believe.

Variation on a theme :
http://www.me.gatech.edu/me/publicat/AugTranscript.htm  The "Gimli
Glider" was a 767 aircraft that ran out of fuel some 35,000 feet over
the Canadian wilderness and had to make an emergency landing on an
abandoned airstrip in Gimli. The question becomes: How do you run out of
fuel and lose both engines on a 767? Actually, it turns out, it's fairly
easy to do. The story began in Edmonton, where a mechanic boarded the
aircraft to fix some problems with the cockpit instrumentation. He threw
the circuit breakers so he could work on the problems. He was then
distracted by being called to do something else, and he forgot to put
the circuit breakers back in the "on" position.

When the pilot got on for a preflight check, not knowing the circuit
breakers were off, he couldn't get any indication from the fuel gauges.
He concluded the gauges were broken, and, after his mechanic checked
with another mechanic, decided to use the standard back-up procedure for
assessing how much fuel was needed. This involved taking a dipstick out
to the fuel tanks in the wings, taking the readings, and then
calculating the number of pounds of fuel onboard. The pilot and co-pilot
took the readings twice to make sure they got the process right. The
only problem was when they converted from kilograms to pounds ... you
got it. They multiplied instead of divided, ran out of fuel, and then
had to glide some 40 miles before they miraculously made a perfect,
dead-stick landing in a place called Gimli.

Stuart
{Original Message removed}

2002\02\16@124553 by Jafta

flavicon
face
Aren't  airliners almost always controlled - and once outside the TMA,
Area Control should be there, not so?

Regards

Chris A
{Original Message removed}

2002\02\16@150708 by John Ferrell

flavicon
face
I should have researched this a bit more.
When I got to thinking about it, my last instrument flight for real was
nearly 20 years ago. There are quite likely more positive controls now than
then.

I better add the Jepp Charts, binders and case to the EBAY pile...

John Ferrell
6241 Phillippi Rd
Julian NC 27283
Phone: (336)685-9606
Dixie Competition Products
NSRCA 479 AMA 4190  W8CCW
"My Competition is Not My Enemy"



{Original Message removed}

2002\02\17@165659 by Tony Nixon

flavicon
picon face
Jinx wrote:
>
> > > BTW, does anyone know if .9999999(repeating) is exactly = 1?
> >
> > Of course you do realize we're going to have to shoot you now...
>
> After you groan at some of these maths jokes, you might
> just feel like shooting yourself
>
> http://math.ucsd.edu/~mathclub/games/jokes.html

Here's the picture ;-)

http://www.pac.asn.au/oops/smile.jpg

Not quite Jumbo's though...

--
Best regards

Tony

mICros
http://www.bubblesoftonline.com
RemoveMEsalesEraseMEspamKILLspambubblesoftonline.com

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2002\02\17@171538 by Jinx

face picon face
> http://www.pac.asn.au/oops/smile.jpg
>
> Not quite Jumbo's though...

He he, wouldn't be out of place in a Zucker and Zucker film

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2002\02\17@212942 by Russell McMahon

picon face
It would be a good idea (IMHO) to put a brief note about what such things
are about to allow us to make more intelligent browsing choices :-)
As it stands I can't tell if this is about Sheep, sleep, QANTAS, quanta or
something quite different.



> http://www.clear.net.nz/news/archives/articles/00017782.html
>
> Nearly spoiled their good name in the worst possible way

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2002\02\18@170341 by Josh Koffman

flavicon
face
Well let's see. You'll need a forward and rear sensor array, a
navigation computer, and a deflector shield. If you get ambitious you
can add inertial damping fields, artificial gravity, and even a
transporter. PIC controlled of course.

:)

Josh
--
A common mistake that people make when trying to design something
completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete
fools.
       -Douglas Adams
Spehro Pefhany wrote:
{Quote hidden}

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